mara (istar) wrote in polyrelations,
mara
istar
polyrelations

Valentines' Day counterpoint

I am poly. I have one love and one intimate friend. We're stable, we've been doing this for a few years and we know what works.

This year, my primary sweetie and I are celebrating Valentines' Day. Why? We recognize that it's a smarmy, overcommercialized pseudo-holiday that reinforces heterosexist-monogamist values and encourages consumerism in lieu of genuine affection! The reason we're celebrating is because it's a good excuse to clear out our ever-busy social schedules, have a nice dinner we wouldn't usually splurge on, give and receive a nice backrub, and spend an arbitrary day just focusing on each other. It doesn't matter if it's Feb 14, April 23, or August 4. It's a milestone. We've made it this far and we're still going strong.

I guess the question that goes unsaid is, What if this is the last one? My primary sweetie became seriously ill last year. Ever since then, our priorities have been slowly realigning. Every day is an opportunity to savor. To slow down, to recognize and appreciate the simple joys of life and our ability to interact with each other. We don't know how long this will last, so it's important to make every day special.

So that, in a nutshell, is why I look forward to Valentines' Day. Even if we don't get reservations at some hot restaurant, we'll cook a special dinner. Whatever happens, we're in this together.
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